Bren Ryder

For my work as a pornographer, I am doing everything I can to change people’s beliefs about porn. A lot of people believe that to create porn is to take advantage of women, to exploit sexuality for the purpose of making money, with no concern for the impact of the models who expose themselves.

Of course, some of that does actually exist in porn, but the winds of change are blowing.
Now, as a business owner and contributor to this burgeoning porn movement I am keeping in mind what I want to accomplish. I want to earn a living. I want to create positive images of women expressing their sexuality. I want to make a difference.

So here I am, less than one year into the life of Good Dyke Porn and the negative beliefs about porn are the least of my worries when it comes to overcoming obstacles.

Since I still have a day-job while I continue to get the word out to the world about what we’re doing at GoodDykePorn.com, my biggest self-defeating belief is that I don’t have enough time to get everything done. When I tell myself everyday, all day that I can’t market more because I don’t have time or I can’t make changes to the site because I don’t have time or I can’t engage in forum discussion because I don’t have time or… you name it and I will apply my self-defeating belief to prevent me from getting things done.

But, there is some truth to this, right? There are only so many hours in a day. But, that last sentence itself is a self-defeating belief. When I tell myself that I don’t have time, then I don’t have time. That is how our world works. We’ve been taught differently. We’ve been taught to believe in what we see. Therefore, when I get home from the day-job, putter around the house, connect with people, prepare for the next day, rest and relax, try to get some work done, fail miserably, then go to bed, I repeatedly take on the belief that I don’t have enough time - entirely based on my observation. But what if we switch it around? What if I believe that I have MORE than enough time to make this business work? If my suspicions are correct, then that belief will beget a day with more time. At the very least, a day with enough time.

I am going to start an experiment. In this experiment I am going to eliminate two self-defeating beliefs:

1. I don’t have enough time to turn GoodDykePorn.com into a success while working a day job.
2. I need to put in A LOT of time to make GoodDykePorn.com a success.

I am a fan of personal development books and blogs and one of my favorites is zenhabits.net, which focuses on simplifying life and achieving your goals one habit at a time. The most important step in making a behaviour a habit is to do it for 30 consecutive days. This is what I am going to do.

• Starting Monday, June 9th, I will say out loud, “I have a lot of time in my day. ” I will say it in the morning, at “day end” and before going to sleep. That’s it.
• Starting Monday, June 9th, I will spend one hour everyday on the business (not including shooting days).

That may sound crazy to some people - to spend such little time on the business and expect to see any progress. But, it’s just an experiment. I have this powerful belief that I need to spend an exorbitant amount of time in front of my computer in order to make this business work. That belief creates a lot of resentment around working at my day job. Also, that belief is contrary to my goal of working less over time, not more. So, let’s eliminate these self-defeating beliefs and see what happens. I think I will be surprised at my own ability to get things done in less time. Stay tuned, you too might be surprised at what can happen with a little positive affirmation and daily habits.