Bren Ryder

The title of this blog is: “Confessions of a Pornographer”.  I confess, I am a pornographer.  As a pornographer, people make certain assumptions about me.  They assume that I’m sexually promiscuous, seeking out casual sex, attending sex parties and orgies on a regular basis.  And when I’m not doing that I’m watching hours and hours of porn.  Here’s the biggest confession of a pornographer:  none of that is true.  Don’t get me wrong, I like sex and I like porn.  I’d seriously be in the wrong line of work if I didn’t.  I also really like having sex on camera, which has surprised me.  I fancy myself quite the voyeur.  I confess, I like to watch.  But, being naked, exposed, vulnerable and fucking a woman equally as vulnerable is seriously hot.  I think there might be a touch of exhibitionist in me, after all.  Plus, it’s a really great excuse to have sex with someone who I might not have otherwise.  There’s no time for being shy or inhibited when the contracts are signed and the equipment rentals are booked.

In my personal life I don’t tend to have sex just for the sake of having sex.  I need to be really attracted to that person.  It’s a chemical reaction.  There are so MANY beautiful and amazing women in this world whom I love dearly.  But, there are so few with whom I feel that intense chemical reaction.  And when I do and she feels it too, watch out people, hot sex on the horizon.  Invariably, I’ll fall in love with her and either vow to spend the rest of life making her happy or I end up alone with the memory of the scent of her neck pining for what I’ll never have.

Interestingly enough, this doesn’t change much of my self-identification of a polyamorous porn star.  This intense sexual connection doesn’t only have to be with one person.  Chances are it won’t happen again for a long time, then wham multiple reactions all at once.  I say, don’t limit yourself.  When the connection is there, embrace it.  Life is a series of negotiations and intimate exchanges with people we love, just some more than others.