Bren Ryder

This week my myspace account was deleted because I had a link to GoodDykePorn.com – my baby, my life, my website. The only reason I was on myspace was to let the world know that this site exists. I admit that I didn’t read the Terms of Service close enough and it does specifically say that links to an adult website are prohibited. I would have been happy to de-link the site, but, oh no, they had to go and delete the whole thing and all 800 of my new best friends.

This isn’t the first time this has happened to me – being deleted from a mainstream community site. On Facebook they deleted my Bren Ryder fan page and the Good Dyke Porn group. Except they don’t specifically say they you can’t link to an adult site and, in fact, they take no responsibility for 3rd party links. Their reason was that they claimed I had “obscene content” on the pages.

The frustrating part is that the only thing I’m guilty of is linking to the front page of my porn site. The page that says, “if you haven’t figured it out already, this is a porn site, if you’re under-age then you know that you’re not allowed to be here, so go play somewhere else, but if you are of an appropriate age, there’s explicit material here, so proceed with that knowledge”. I’m paraphrasing a little. It’s the link that’s evil, apparently, because there is/was no content on any of my community pages: no pictures of models, no nudity, no sex. What makes it so obscene? The words themselves: Dyke Porn!

It’s important to me to be really upfront about what I do. I make dyke porn – i.e. empowered women who love women share their sex on camera. DYKE PORN. But the dominant society seems to think that those two words are bad. Perhaps if I had a website called GayLadiesDoingNudgeNudgeWinkWink.com then I wouldn’t get in trouble so frequently. But that’s entirely contrary to my objective. I want people to know that what they’re getting is sexually explicit material – PORN, by authentic queer women – DYKES. There’s no ambiguity here. If you click that link you know where you’re going.

It’s hard to fight against the past wrongs of slimeballs who have shaped the porn industry’s reputation to be what it is today: degrating, sneaky, pop-ups you didn’t intend to find, money hungry abusers and other sad facts that people assume applies to anyone who produces porn. I have to use special adult web hosting. I can’t use paypal, ebay, google ads, newsletter services, shopping carts, even certain banks won’t deal with my company.

Guess what? There is nothing wrong with women having sex with each other! There is nothing wrong with sharing it in a public space! When you click on a link that’s called GoodDykePorn.com you are consenting to be a part of that public space.

Instead of embracing sex and sexuality as a natural part of our lives, instead of embracing pornographers as a welcome contributor to our everyday lives these mainstream communities simply delete me. I’m relegated to the porno communities that don’t even have a category for “dyke porn”, that don’t even have female directors in their directory of pornographers (I know they exist, they just don’t participate in these adult communities).

I find the internet really frustrating regarding these sort of divisions and restrictions, but at the same time I can still write a post like this and share it with many people at once. I can provide Good Dyke Porn to people around the world quite easily. And I can get feedback and support and love from those of you who watch and care about this as much as I do.

I’ll keep working at legitimizing, sharing, and creating dyke porn. But, I think I’ll remove the link from Facebook profile. I can play the game. Eventually, sex will be appreciated, accepted and embraced. Once our dominant society puts more focus on love, rather than violence, we’ll be on our way there.