Bren Ryder

The amazing video-on-demand collection of porn that caters to women, HotMoviesForHer.com, has done it again. They’ve recently created a category for “dyke porn”. If you read my recent post, “What Box Are You In” you’ll know that the category dyke porn is one that is close to my heart.  Of course, the fact that I run a website called, “Good Dyke Porn” might safely imply my enthusiasm for the creation and recognition of a specific genre called dyke porn.

The strange thing is that most people seem to know what dyke porn is and they know that it’s different from “lesbian porn” or “all-girl porn” (I’m sorry, that label is just disturbing, women only please). But, when you go looking for dyke porn on any kind of porn directory it simply does not exist.

Which is why I’m so excited about HotMoviesForHer.com starting the ball rolling by creating their dyke porn label. And, if you go to the “Main Theater” or “Lesbian Theater” (not Hetero or Queer) and click on “Categories” in the left sidebar, you’ll find us right under “for women->lesbian->dyke porn”. Currently, I’m #1. Woohoo!

Dream: Be a leader in dyke porn. Check!

I am living my dream by making my life and my business all about creating dyke porn that women love. When I first created the name, “Good Dyke Porn™” for the outlet of creating this porn I thought I was going to hear a few comments like, “nice try, porn yes, good no” or “an attempt at something good, but…”

I think most of us women who are following dreams and making things happen tend to have an imposter syndrome and sometimes doubt our worthiness of compliments or praise or even certain leadership roles. Since this is a job like anything else there are days that are easier than others and sometimes I have days where I feel discouraged, like I’m spinning my wheels or work feels pointless.

To combat those days I’ve compiled a document that I refer to whenever I need some encouragement. It’s a file that has quotes from reviews and emails from people who have incredibly wonderful things to say.

I’m so grateful to receive such comments. Not only do I actually get to create “my” work, but people actually love it! What more could I ask for? Below is a sample of the comments that I get to look at whenever I want to. They aren’t credited. For a look at a complete review check out some recent glowing reviews by:

Essin’Em: “Bren Ryder has really done both the adult and queer communities justice with Good Dyke Porn. and
Scarlet Lotus Sexgeek: “I think Good Dyke Porn is an amazing site full of wonderful videos enjoyable to everyone even remotely queer (and in my world that’s just about everyone)..”

This is a small sample of my inspirational list of compliments:
(Ain’t life grand?)

• I never get turned on by porn (the usual made by a man for a man porn) but your production is great and I was turned on.
• My butch boi and I had an interesting night afterwards *cheers to you*.
• I am happy to be a straight man discovering all this amazing dyke porn. The stuff I watched of yours has this real and earnestness about it. I’ve never seen anything like it in porn I’ve consumed.
• I have to say I’m a major fan of Good Dyke Porn, and yours was definitely the hottest of all the screenings!  I enjoyed the panel talk afterwards, too, everyone raised some really interesting points.
• I just wanted to say thanks for making such delicious feminist porn, that reflects a colourful spectrum of sexualities, all of which are hot in their own way.  You’ve obviously worked really hard to do what you do, and I think everyone benefits from your work.  It’s amazing.
• Congratulations on creating the best, most authentic site on the web.
• I just want to say that your site is absolutely amazing . . . from what I can see of preview videos and just your general attitude, I can already tell it’s wonderful.
• I love sights like yours, that have a unique personal vision…please keep up the good work.
• Good to finally see some decent porn on the web.
• just saw your site for the first time and have to say it looks awesome.
• I appreciate your art!! Brave. And incredibly sexy I might add…
• Good for you.
• Just thought I’d drop you a line to say congrats on your site. It’s VERY nice :0)
• Thanks for your work!
• I believe you offer lesbians a valuable product, and I admire your ambition, your skills, and your ability to convince attractive women to have sex on film for public consumption.
• Just for the record, I think what you do is awesome

Keep sending me encouraging messages. I appreciate every single one of them.

Photo by Daylight.

GoodDykePorn.com has been online for over one year now, but the filming first began two years ago this month and the business preparations started the summer before that. Once I became completely engulfed in the business of porn, including creating a business plan, seeking investors and making it all come together, I was faced with an irrefutable fact - I am fucking LAZY.

The days that I dedicated to working the business went something like this: spend the morning planning and writing lists about all the tasks that I need to do in the afternoon and evening, then decide to do it tomorrow. I am the queen of to-do lists. I have an intense understanding of what I need to be doing. I love to plan things out. It’s the doing that’s the hard part.

So, once my passion for creating Good Dyke Porn met my lazy ass procrastinator I decided to google, "how to be more self-disciplined". That’s when I found StevePavlina.com - an interesting, incredibly successful, personal development blog. The subject matter is very diverse: self-discipline, finding your life’s purpose, habit forming, subjective reality, raw food diets, astral projection, law of attraction and much more. I started with self-discipline and became drawn to articles about love and living with purpose and these things led me to learn more about love and spirituality in general.

It’s been an interesting journey of self-discovery that’s included Deepak Chopra, Wayne Dyer, ZenHabits.net, Suze Orman, The Secret, Eckhart Tolle, and many other trendy personal development gurus. The journey to provide the world with Good Dyke Porn suddenly became a journey to my ideal self. Recently I began writing a non-porn spiritual development blog so I could write about what I’ve learned and be totally open about all the best flakey bits of myself. I was writing a post about the subject of career when I realized, "This is a diversion from my career. My voice needs to be true to me and BrenRyder.com is the place for that voice."

Steve Pavlina, this unusually success blogger, published a book recently. The contents of the book aren’t a duplication of the blog at all and I found it to be incredibly insightful (I highly recommend it) . After exploring his idea of the principles of life, he goes into the practical application of these things in the second half of the books. The subjects are divided up into six categories: Habits, Career, Money, Health, Relationships, and Spirituality.

I’ve been exploring these subjects in my writing and thinking and I’d like to share some of that with you through this blog. BrenRyder.com is meant to be a place where I share my progress in making my porn business work and my own progress in "figuring it all out". It’s about time I start truly sharing.

Photo by Javiercit0.

As a pornographer of dyke content you’d think that I would experience my fair share of drama. In general, however, my life is fairly drama-free. Well, you can’t avoid it completely. Some people who enter your orbit are a bit more high strung than others. But, like Oprah says, you can’t control what happens, but you can control how you react to it.

Looking back there have been a few dramatic moments over the life of GoodDykePorn.com. There’s been break-ups right before shooting a scene, a back-outs because of jealous girlfriends and most recently a canceled scene that upset one person much more than another.

Sometimes people get mad and start acting kinda freaky, but, I don’t see that as being dyke drama exactly. I think what would have turned the situation into drama would have been an extreme reaction from me. I know that in some of my intimate relationships I’ve gotten mad because they were mad, but when it’s a creative acquaintance who’s freaking out, it doesn’t bother me. I don’t have to react adversely and as much as I’d like to help them to not be so mad I simply cannot take responsibility for their emotions. When someone calls my phone multiple times in only a few minutes then it’s obvious that they have difficulties handling an emotional situation. Perhaps there’s something I can say to help and perhaps there isn’t. My policy is to be as clear and straight-forward as possible, but frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.

Sometimes I proudly proclaim that I live a drama-free life. Although, I wonder if that’s simply an expression of my cold cold heart. People can act really messed up because of past damage or current mental health issues or rock hard patterns. But, I don’t really care. It’s sad. I can see that. I look at a young woman fly off the handle and I feel sad. Similar to the way that I look a starving child in an impoverished nation on the news. It’s sad. But, I refuse to take it on. I refuse get angry.

I’ve always felt this way. I’ve always wondered why people get so worked up about all the bad things in the world. I’ve always thought that action is a much better way to respond. The biggest flaw in that philosophy is that I rarely act. I see horrible things, hear about all the bad news and choose not to get upset over it AND I choose not to do anything about it. Is that apathy? I’ve heard that anger can induce action. I’m not so sure I buy that. I find people who get really angry and affected by the drama around them fancy themselves to be non-apathetic, thus, better. I question that.

I hear that peace is the way. I rarely see people practicing that method of change, however. Maybe that’s because the angry people get all the attention. Maybe that’s because “getting angry” has been held up in such high regard by people who claim to be changing the world for the better.

This world is complicated. A lot of people are very hurt and some of them are going to spread their hurt through anger. I wish them well. I will not take it on. I will not embrace their pain. And, until the day I choose to do something that will change the world that contributed to their pain, then I will not care.

If you like porn then chances are you’ve gone to a free porn site, like Pornotube or Xtube to watch some free clips of people fucking. I have because it’s my job and because I like to watch people having sex. However, at the enter page of these sites and many other VOD sites you are given two choices of the type of content you want to see: Straight or Gay.  Some sites give you the option to choose both, but what if your choice is Neither?

As time goes on and I watch more and more porn, including man/woman cock action and man/man cock action, I’m realizing that I don’t really like watching cock.  I am a dyke afterall so it shouldn’t come as much of a surprise. I want to see dyke porn.  I want to see silicone cocks, smooth bodies, breasts, curves, muscles, WOMEN. As most of you know the most common female porn is “lesbian” porn. This is NOT the same as “dyke” porn. Most likely the women are straight or maybe bi, but it doesn’t even matter what their sexuality is because the content is essentially the same: conventionally beautiful feminine women acting like their having sex, but paying more attention to the “watcher” than to each other.  But, here’s the funny part.  If I want to watch “lesbian” porn I need to click on the category STRAIGHT. How did lesbian porn ever get the label, straight?

That’s not a difficult question to answer. Lesbian porn has and is created for straight men. Okay, I can accept that. But if lesbian porn is considered “straight” then the porn that I create should not be in that category. I make dyke porn. The scenes feature women (mostly) who are fucking other women (mostly). There is nothing straight about it.  Even when we shot a scene between a man and a woman it was the queerest piece of work we’d done to date.

So, does the categorization apply to WHO is watching it? Not likely, I don’t think transsexuals are the predominant viewers of “tranny porn” or mothers watching “milf porn”. Categories describe the content.  Lesbian porn does not describe the content of what we are creating at GoodDykePorn.com.  What does? What box can we put this content into?

Dykes are notorious for fighting to break down labels and embrace the fluidity of sexual and gender identity. But we need a label to identify ourselves and the sexually graphic images we create or else other people will do it for us. And as it stands the category we’re being put into is STRAIGHT. That is so wrong.

But what about the women that don’t identify as dyke or even female? How do they fit in to the dyke category? I’m of the opinion that the category “dyke” includes more than just self-identified dyke women. It also includes transguys, femme dykes, butch lesbians, queers, bisexuals and many other varieties.

Queer porn is the other up and coming category for the type of porn that is being made these days. Sites like Crash Pad Series and No Fauxxx identify as queer porn and of course, Buck Angel (although, he identifies specifically as FtM porn).  Perhaps instead of having a main category as STRAIGHT with a sub-category LESBIAN, we can have a main category QUEER with subcategories of FtM, DYKE, GAY (google queer porn and you’ll find mostly gay porn sites), and many other people and sexual preferences that don’t fit into “straight” or “gay”. The funny thing is that Good Dyke Porn™ doesn’t seem to be queer enough to fit into the Queer category at HotMoviesForHer. In this context queer only applies to transsexual/transgender porn.

I want to see the DYKE category because this is a category that is female-centric. The content does include transgender guys and even a bio-guy, but when you’re looking for women then you know you’re going to find them in dyke porn. The beauty of female-centric anything is that it’s highly inclusive. There will always be a variety of sexual and gender varieties in dyke porn, but first and foremost you will find dykes. Come on people, dykes are huge segment of society. We are women who love other women and we exist in every corner of this planet. At times we fluidly shift our gender identity and always love and embrace our community’s choices, but we need to claim our place in this world.  We need an address so you can find us. We need to fill the box with content that we actually enjoy watching.  Give that box a name.

Call my box DYKE!