Bren Ryder

As a pornographer of dyke content you’d think that I would experience my fair share of drama. In general, however, my life is fairly drama-free. Well, you can’t avoid it completely. Some people who enter your orbit are a bit more high strung than others. But, like Oprah says, you can’t control what happens, but you can control how you react to it.

Looking back there have been a few dramatic moments over the life of GoodDykePorn.com. There’s been break-ups right before shooting a scene, a back-outs because of jealous girlfriends and most recently a canceled scene that upset one person much more than another.

Sometimes people get mad and start acting kinda freaky, but, I don’t see that as being dyke drama exactly. I think what would have turned the situation into drama would have been an extreme reaction from me. I know that in some of my intimate relationships I’ve gotten mad because they were mad, but when it’s a creative acquaintance who’s freaking out, it doesn’t bother me. I don’t have to react adversely and as much as I’d like to help them to not be so mad I simply cannot take responsibility for their emotions. When someone calls my phone multiple times in only a few minutes then it’s obvious that they have difficulties handling an emotional situation. Perhaps there’s something I can say to help and perhaps there isn’t. My policy is to be as clear and straight-forward as possible, but frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.

Sometimes I proudly proclaim that I live a drama-free life. Although, I wonder if that’s simply an expression of my cold cold heart. People can act really messed up because of past damage or current mental health issues or rock hard patterns. But, I don’t really care. It’s sad. I can see that. I look at a young woman fly off the handle and I feel sad. Similar to the way that I look a starving child in an impoverished nation on the news. It’s sad. But, I refuse to take it on. I refuse get angry.

I’ve always felt this way. I’ve always wondered why people get so worked up about all the bad things in the world. I’ve always thought that action is a much better way to respond. The biggest flaw in that philosophy is that I rarely act. I see horrible things, hear about all the bad news and choose not to get upset over it AND I choose not to do anything about it. Is that apathy? I’ve heard that anger can induce action. I’m not so sure I buy that. I find people who get really angry and affected by the drama around them fancy themselves to be non-apathetic, thus, better. I question that.

I hear that peace is the way. I rarely see people practicing that method of change, however. Maybe that’s because the angry people get all the attention. Maybe that’s because “getting angry” has been help up in such high regard by people who claim to be changing the world for the better.

This world is complicated. A lot of people are very hurt and some of them are going to spread their hurt through anger. I wish them well. I will not take it on. I will not embrace their pain. And, until the day I choose to do something that will change the world that contributed to their pain, then I will not care.