Bren Ryder

I am working on a porn revolution. But did you know that I’m on a spiritual journey? Celebrating female sexuality is the easy part. It fits perfectly into my path and I believe in it. Money, however, is the hardest part of my spiritual journey to get a handle on. I’ve done okay for myself – relative to a homeless person. But I struggle to achieve the kind of financial abundance that I dream about. And I’m not talking about mansions and fast cars. I’d be happy to elevate beyond starving artist. So what have I learned from all this poverty and insecurity? What wisdom can I pass on?

Let’s brainstorm: Money is important. It does great things – pays off debt, buys gifts, finances churches and history-making election campaigns. Without money charity wouldn’t exist. Without money what would we stress about? The middle-class dream is to earn more than you spend, have nice things and a big savings account for retirement and emergencies. It doesn’t seem like a lot to ask for. But, there aren’t very many people who are content with their financial situation. Which means they must be spending more than they earn, have desires for more things and/or have an insufficient amount of savings.

Money is meant to be a tool. It’s meant to get your needs fulfilled in exchange for something: your time, your expertise, your objects. Is it a tool? Or, is it oxygen? Can we live without money? No.

Okay, so if money is like oxygen, then money sustains life. That is absolutely true. Literally, we cannot live without food and water and we pay for these things (plus shelter). Figuratively speaking, money breaths life into a business, a charity organization, an artistic project, a campaign, a demonstration, to name a few. Money is life. That I believe. But I have a hard time believing that money will always be there. Why? Because it won’t. Like life itself, it can end at anytime. I feel more confident that I will live another day than I do that money will return another day. I feel more confident that I will remain healthy for years to come than I do that I will have a steady income and a healthy balance on my accounts.

Life has no guarantee. I accept that life will someday end: for me, my loved ones, and everyone. I accept it because I have no control over it. I can do my part by breathing in and out, eating right, exercising and appreciating every day that I do have. Now, apply that to money.

I can’t control the money. Not in the grand scale. If I were to ever lose my money it would be completely beyond my control. What I can do is control “diet and exercise”. Every action I take, every mistake I make, and every success I see is a learning experience. I’ve learned that when I have a friend to go with I can get to the gym every morning. I can’t control the presence of viruses, contracting illnesses or sudden accidents, but I can get to the gym when I set up my schedule in a way that works for me.

So far, with money, I’ve discovered that I can no longer borrow money. Not for business, not temporarily, not for any reason. This decision has changed my financial situation immensely. Suddenly, I have achieved an important goal: make more than I spend. I make sure that happens no matter what. Being self-employed so my income is variable, but now that I’ve vowed to never borrow ever again, I make it work everyday.

That’s what’s working for me. That’s what I’ve learned about myself. That I can control – my spending, my guidelines. What I truly want, though, is for all of my debt to be paid off and a nice huge savings account to save me from financial emergencies. And I want that as soon as possible.

Let go of the outcome.

When life is the outcome, how do you let go? As a person who may be struggling with a terminal illness you know the intense difficulty in letting go of the outcome: staying alive. It seems like everyday all of us are fearing the death of abundance. So much so that it’s actually stifling our growth. Just like a highly stressed and angry person is stifling their own life and health. When we worry about money it’s like we’re worrying about death.

I never worry about having too much money. It’s always the opposite. So, to worry about losing money is like worrying about death. I choose not to worry about death, so it’s time to make a change in my thinking about money. If I’m worrying about money, then I’m worrying about death. And since I believe that whatever we focus on comes into being then I would never focus on death. Thus, it doesn’t make any sense to focus on the potential financial shortfall. In fact, it’s standing in my way of truly living, truly experiencing abundance.

A lot of us have a hard time with money. Financial experts are experiencing huge abundance to try to help us overcome our fears around money. We’ve mostly been taught that money is either good or evil. But it is neither. Or is it both?

Money is money. Life is life. Death is death. Money is life and money is death – metaphorically speaking, of course. When we worry about money, then we’re focusing on money as death. But, when we appreciate money and believe in the power of money, then we are focusing on money as life. Which is “better”? Life, of course. It’s easy for us spiritualists to believe in life and appreciate it, but now we need to translate that faith into our money. Money is an integral part of life and needs to be held up as important as life because it is life.

Until our society completely changes our system of exchange (not likely to ever happen), then money will be our currency of life. I am a healthy woman and I appreciate that. I live a good life and I appreciate that. Because of the society I grew up in I have a hard time believing that I deserve money as much as I deserve flexible limbs and a strong heart. That has to change. Money is life. And what I choose to do with it will change the world. As I change, then the world will change with me.

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