Bren Ryder

I am so excited for this weekend. I’m doing finishing touches on my presentation and sorting out final details for my upcoming porn shoot. It’s going to be a busy whirlwind of a weekend. I’ll be doing a lot this weekend and sleeping isn’t going to be one of them.

The Portland, Oregan regional conference of Butch Voices is on this Saturday, October 2, 2010.

This event extravaganza is a spin off from last year’s national convergence of everything butch at the first Butch Voices conference in Oakland, CA. There have already been regional conferences this year in Texas, New York and coming up in LA.

Me and a van full of butches from Vancouver, Canada, are going to drive down to Portland on Friday afternoon. At that point we’ll all scatter to our individual accommodations and get ready for the big day, conference day. I’ll be staying with Sophia St. James so I’ll be meeting her at her party, “Love Hurts” (it sure does, doesn’t it, but in that good way…not doubt there’ll be a lot of good hurting going on at this party).

Saturday is going to be a full day: 8am registration and workshops from morning ’til mine. My workshop is at 3pm and is entitled Good Butch Porn: Butch Representation in Porn. I’ll be showing butches getting nasty from my own footage of Good Dyke Porn™, offering my own perspectives and observations and inviting others to speak up, as well. I’ve never put on a workshop before, but I figure as long as I’m showing hot butches fucking then I really can’t go wrong.

I’m looking forward to meeting a few online friends and acquaintances. Fresh from the New York  Butch Voices conference Sinclair Sexsmith of Sugarbutch fame will be giving a workshop on writing first thing in the morning, called, “Telling Our Stories”.

Everyone is the expert of their own life. Everyone knows themselves, their stories, their triumphs, their heartaches, better than anyone else. We all come from somewhere. We all have had struggles, heartaches, successes, breakthroughs, knockdowns, sideswipes, joy, that have brought us from the people we used to be to the person that we are today, and we butches have our own unique and similar stories. The rewards of starting to tell these stories, to write them down, to have others witness our stories, can be massive.

Later, Kyle Jones will be giving a workshop on gender identity. Sounds like a great workshop and I look forward to meeting Kyle, as well.

When it comes to our own identity, each of us is simultaneously an expert and a student. The goal of the genderqueer workshop is to allow participants to share their own experiences in gender identity exploration and gain insight from the experiences of others.

And a handful of others, as well. This is just the tip of the butch iceberg. Oh the butchness abounds. I look forward to every one of the workshops that I’ll be able to attend. But, I know I’m going to be nervous about giving mine. I’ll try not to fret about it too much and just enjoy each moment of butch bonding and masculine celebrating that’s going to go on all day long.

Another friend of mine is going to be showcasing their work at the Butch Buffet. There will be a lot of talent there, so follow the link to see for yourself. Worth noting is the film “Butch Tits” by Jen Crothers. Jen will be road tripping with me and I’ve seen the film and it’s fantastic. I’m especially partial to butch tits just because I have a couple of my own that I hold near to my heart. And the film is really well done and a perfect celebration of female masculinity.

So, after the hot sex party, long day of bromance, wild celebration of all things butch and then perhaps a party or two, first thing Sunday morning I go to work. I shoot a scene with Sophia St. James before hitting the road back home. Sophia was planning on driving up to Vancouver during Pride to stay with me, celebrate and shoot a scene. That didn’t work out because of a flat time and now I get to be in her town and her home and we’re going to set the stage for our production once again. I haven’t met her yet, but we’ve emailed and talked on the phone and skyped once. Plus, I’ve heard great things from friends who know her. I have a feeling that it’s going to be a really great connection. I’m really looking forward to “working” with her. Of course, I’ll be nervous as hell as I always am when it comes to shooting a scene, never mind being in a scene. It’s going to be great.

Follow me on Twitter for all the latest updates.

Or, if you don’t do Twitter, then be my fan on Facebook and “Like” Bren Ryder. All my updates will be posted on that page, as well (not my profile though, so become a fan, my friends).

I like to play with the blog convention of titling articles starting with “How To” or “10 Ways To”. It’s a trick to entice people to read your article because the Internet is for information and clearly those kinds of articles will contain very useful information. If your familiar with this blog then you’ll know that I occasionally use this convention as a way of telling my own stories. Not as trick on you, necessarily, but a trick for my own writing brain. Somehow this all seems that much easier to write when I pretend I’m passing on some kind of wisdom. Whereas, in reality, I’m simply exploring the question…”How Does One Win At Quitting?”

The quitting that I’m referring to is my day job as a window cleaner. I’ve written a few articles in the past regarding my constant struggle with working the damn day job to make ends meet. Once again, I was faced with a situation that wasn’t working for me and I made the choice to move on, step away, take the leap…right off the cliff into the world of full-time self-employment. I’ve got a few oddly placed unsure nets below me and I’m barely hanging on but I am hanging on. As my determination grows, so does the strength of my grip. Alright, that’s enough of the metaphors.

So, how am I going to win at quitting?

At this point, I pretty much think of success in terms of paying my rent and eating on a regular basis, while continuing to cover all my business expenses. I think I’m about halfway to achieving my goal. This means I need to get creative with my budgeting – both business and personal – and get some help on the side. One way I’m “getting creative” is to use porn as currency whenever possible. Tapping into the brilliance of bartering, I’ve been able to enjoy the amazing work of friends’ published books and live shows. I’ve traded porn for haircuts, home-cooked meals, drinks, and pretty much anything and everything I can think of.

Memberships and DVD’s aren’t the only things I trade. I will clean your windows, help you with your website, videotape a film or event, tutor you on Final Cut Pro, cat-sit, dog walk, promote your work, help you move heavy objects and, well, what do you need…let’s talk. I’ve got a few leads on some essential living supplies and services and I’m always on the look out for deals, free stuff and trades. Sometimes the $10 or $20 that I would normally spend without a second thought could keep me fed for a week. If you have stuff you want to give away or you want to help in some way, here’s my wish list (which includes my survival list – surviving is clearly a wish of mine, but why stop there).

So, surviving is one way to “win at quitting”, but the most important reason for quitting is to have the time and the focus to put in the work to make my business profitable. My biggest challenge with succeeding right now is sticking to my self-discipline. I’m the kind of person who loves to do nothing all day. It’s not fulfilling necessarily, but, for some reason I feel compelled to wile away my time like nobody’s business. Even though I hear everybody struggles with procrastination, I find myself to be quite an anomaly among my friends and lovers. I suspect that’s because I’m naturally drawn to qualities that I don’t personally possess, like drivenness, competitiveness and raw passion. Hey, there’s a possible trade: you show me how to be more driven and I’ll show you how to do less.

Unfortunately, these qualities don’t rub off quite that easily. I’m just taking it one step at a time, one task at a time, one day at a time. I’m cutting back on Facebook time, limiting my tv watching and scheduling a comfortable amount of free time so I don’t completely lose myself in my own endeavour to improve myself.

Succeeding is important to me. Living my life the way I want to is important to me. I refuse to let go.

I was running a fund-raiser for the month of September to raise money to create more content for my website: GoodDykePorn.com. I used Paypal as a way for people to give me their donations. Which, of course, was a big mistake because using any kind of conventional service for anything porn-related is a sure-fire way to get yourself banned, booted out of the club, flagged, whatever. They banned me for “selling” adult content using their service. But what they should have banned me for was using their service for a “lottery”. Because I wasn’t selling the content. I was going to randomly gift a one-year membership to one of the donors.

This, as usual, is very frustrating. But, I rarely use Paypal so I’m not too concerned about the suspension (I can’t sell DVD’s through Paypal like my US colleagues can). So, to combat this negativity I’ve decided to give a one-year membership to every single person who donated. That’s right you two! Congratulations!
[Now don't you wish *you* had given me your dollar. *grin*]

I feel fantastic about this decision because one of the winners has been a long-term customer and the other is someone I’ll likely be working with in the near future. Spreading dyke porn and joy and legs across the land. That’s just how I roll.

Message me at bren@gooddykeporn.com to discuss alternate ways of contributing or other create ways to help. Thanks!

Contact me at bren@gooddykeporn.com for alternate payment methods or other creative contributions.

Edited Sept.15/10: As usual, linking any mainstream service to something adult-related gets me booted out of the club. So, fundraising drive cut short. Thanks to all those who contributed.
See THIS post for details on what happened.

The Jist: Donate $1 or more to win a year-long membership to GoodDykePorn.com. Everyone who donates will gain 24hr access to members area. Please read on.

It’s September, it’s coming on fall and it feels like a brand new year. September tends to feel like that to me because of the whole back-to-school vibe and the change in season. It makes me feel excited about getting work done and hunkering down for the winter.

I recently quit my day job and I’m not exactly sure how I’m going to survive, but I feel confident that it’s going to work out. I needed the job because as a solo operator of Good Dyke Porn™ I put all my cash-flow into making more porn and paying for promotion and improving the business to the best of my ability. However, the day job was also getting in the way of…making porn, promoting the site and improving the business. So, I took the leap and now I’m taking another shot at dedicating myself 100% to running this business. I’m excited about it. I started this process exactly 4 years ago and have been live online for the past 3 years. Now is the time where I will finally be able to provide consistent updates, world-wide exposure and quality web-surfing experience. It’ll just take a teensy bit of crazy hard work on my part. No problem!

Here’s where you come in.

I need money! Now more than ever I have people who are contacting me about shooting dyke porn and I have Shanna Katz travelling to San Francisco and Boulder, CO and other places to shoot some porn scenes. I also have the conference Butch Voices coming up in Portland, OR where I will be presenting a workshop on butch representation in queer porn and shooting a scene with Sophia St. James. All of my porn shoots are paid gigs. Everyone who fucks on camera for me gets paid. This is very important to me, however, it presents an obstacle for creating more scenes when my bank account is empty.

I need your help and you need dyke porn. So, let’s help each other.

For the entire month of September I will be running a donation-based lottery for a One Year Membership for GoodDykePorn.com.

For a minimum donation of $1.00 you will be put into a draw for a chance to win the One Year Membership. If you donate $2.00 then you will get two chances, $3 gives you three chances, etc, etc. If you donate $100 or more then you will also be entered to win a Lifetime Membership, plus a autographed DVD (though, you will not leave empty handed not matter what). AND, everyone who donates no matter what the amount will gain access to the members area for one full day – date to be announced.

Please feel free to email me with any questions about forms of payment at bren@gooddykeporn.com .
Your donation will be to my blog and porn company.

Here is another interview with one of the guys who’s done some scenes on GoodDykePorn.com. They have requested that I keep their identity private but he’s on the website so when you’re browsing all the scenes you can probably guess or go ahead and pick out whomever you’d like it to be.

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To browse all the scenes right now for only $20 – SIGN UP NOW!
(Just like I’m doing in the picture. Ha.)

1. What made you want to do porn for Good Dyke Porn™?

There were many motives behind my decision to be involved with the project.
I think my main drive behind it was wanting trans bodies, and variations on the queer body to be visible. Even if it was a limited visibility, it created exposure and demystified different bodies. I hoped in a selfish way that it would make people more at ease with getting down with trans people. At this point the only exposure to queer porn I had, was The Crash Pad and Superfreak, produced in San Francisco. I wanted to increase the scope, for myself and others.
I was also exploring my exhibitionist side. So the thought of being filmed while getting it on, was exciting to me. Then by extension having sex kind of instantly shown on the internet was even more exciting, and knowing that it would educate and get people off. Well its a win win situation.

2. Knowing that GDP is inclusive of a variety of queer representations of gender and sexuality, as an ftm guy how do you feel about being a part of “dyke porn”?

Being under the moniker good dyke porn could be seen as problematic and empowering.
I guess in my mind it wraps itself up in identity politics. Because I identify with being part of a queer community, I think all things a little strange or subversive fall under that identifying word (queer).
Although i don’t really fall under the label of dyke, I defiantly see myself as more of a dyke then a heterosexual white male, or even anywhere in the gender binary.
I think it amazing that GDP is inclusive of all queer bodies, you have a diverse and dynamic cast that is represented on the site that I feel begins to represent a part of the queer community.

3. What is your vision of the future of dyke/trans/queer porn?

I see a lot of great things happening with queer porn right now. There are a lot of great sites out there that are so diverse and inclusive, its really exciting. A lot of queer porn being produced is super DIY and independent. Being produced by people like Bren who just want to see some hot porn with real people, who we (queer folks) find attractive. I see sites now like NoFauxxx and an amazing new publication called Original Plumbing. I also came across Morty Diamond’s work. He does these amazing tranny fag films.
It seems like these queer sites are a place where you can see the diversity of the queer scene in one place. I hope to see that transferred into our real lives and into our communities. I would like to begin to see more and more diversity, and more visibility for different faces, and bodies.

4. How do you think trans bodies should be portrayed in pornographic media?

I think that the portrayal of trans bodies in pornographic media can be a bit problematic, especially in mainstream media. The only representation that you see are these sensationalized bodies. Like Buck Angel, who i feel is a representation of a small population of the world. He is a muscley white male. Perpetuating a main stream stereotype of what a male should be. The same can be said about the representation of trans women in porn. It seems to me that trans people have been marginalized and pin holed through the exposure the public has. Like the only mainstream representation there is for trans bodies are in these very sexualized scopes, so they are only seen as sexual objects and not human beings. It’s a dangerous line between fetishism and sexiness.
I think the same could be said about the representation of queer and gay people in mainstream pornography. I think we need to be careful about how we sexualize the queer body/community and work on different ways of relating to each other.

5. Looking back on scenes you’ve done in the past, how do you feel about having your past physical body captured on film?

It’s exciting for me to have my past body captured. I think it important for me to recognize that that body existed for me, and I lived it in for so long. It’s also interesting to relate so much more to the body I am in now, and see how much I’ve changed. Like my intense amount of body hair, muscles and my lovely scars from top surgery. Its interesting to think that people look at me now and would never imagine that I had breasts and would be called a dyke.

6. What else would you like to say about trans porn representation in general?

I think that trans porn is branching off, and that’s an exciting and scary thought.
Like I said before I think it’s important for trans bodies to have visibility but also, I think it’s important to see them beyond a sexual and fetishized object and recognize that they are something beyond the body.
But I look at work like Original Plumbing and Morty Diamond‘s stuff, and I feel empowered and excited that there is this work being done. It’s important stuff, because it helps people think twice when they look at someone and assume their identity. Yes it’s using a sexualized scope, but it still creates visibility. Like through my exposure to the queer femme community I think twice when I look at a femme person. I’m not going to automatically assume that that person is straight identified. The same can be said about making assumptions about a “straight couple”,  later you may be on a queer porn site, and see that same couple getting down.

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